Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Shmendrik Shleps Schlonged Shtick in Spiel


     Schlong means penis. Easy. Yiddish really happens. Metaphysical fact. No debate needed on the subject. Dick. Johnson, Cock, Wang. Just talking about it makes me all giddy. I see me running down the halls of Benton Elementary School saying schlong!" Which actually happened. Lenny Bruce's fault."I'm going to be rich! I figured out how to get schlong-juice stains off of suede." I had no idea what the scary man meant but the word had magical powers! To an eight year old.

     Why the hell use it in adult political discourse? My mother got a note from a teacher on that one.  She told to me that schlong meant tinus, I knew that euphemism, I knew I would get my tukhus beaten if I kept saying it. So why does Uncle Trumpy get to use it? Trump Infantile Syndrome?

     Uncle Trumpy doesn't like a lot of things. Everything Rosie O'Donnell. Megyn Kelly's menstrual cycle. Carly Fiorina's face. I don't get the last one. He has Ted Cruz' smug face in punching range but yells at the church lady? I don't think he hates women. He likes his daughter, a lot, enough to want to "date" her. So "what the heck is going on?" 

     What did he say?

     "She was going to beat Obama," Uncle Trumpy told a Grand Rapids crowd. "I don't know who would be worse. I don't know. How does it get worse? She was going to beat...  she was favored to win, and she got schlonged. She lost."

     Lets translate what Uncle Trumpy said. Hillary got a raw deal in the 2008 primary against Barack Obama. Nothing before this makes me think he cares about the 2008 Democratic primary process. I assume the whole comment might just exist as a delivery system for a misogynistic dick joke.  

     So why bring up the image of a white woman and a black man's penis to his supporters? Do the Trumpers of Grand Rapids get a thrill out of Black on Blonde porn? Maybe some dog whistle racism? I don't see into those people's souls so I will not comment on why they ate Uncle Trumpy's crap on a shtick. They eat everything he offers and this came on the same menu. 

     Until I find out otherwise my running assumption of Trump Infantile Syndrome stands. On a lighter note I giggle like an eight year old every time a reporter has to say Schlong. If that was Uncle Trumpy's game he gets one point for creative neuro linguistic programming.        

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